October 5th, 2012 
Up4Dsn 
1) Loyalty. Usually, when “saved,” hoes develop an undying loyalty to their captains. They are so grateful to have been chosen by someone, anyone, that they will pledge allegiance to you til death do you part.
2) Uninhibited sex. Hoes are less concerned with being prim and proper, and don’t mind getting their hands dirty (pun intended). Furthermore, they tend to be more comfortable with their bodies, even if they are riddled with stretch marks and bullet wounds. If their standards are “loose” when it comes to their sexual partners, then their standards as to what they will do and how far they will go to please their man will likely be relaxed, as well.
3) You’ll never go without. I think it’s safe to say that hoes like sex. If they didn’t, they wouldn’t be getting it in with every Tom, Dick and Harry. At least you can take comfort in knowing that, while your friends are complaining about how stingy their wives have been with the nookie since they got hitched, you’ll be getting all you can stand.
4) No one else wants her. To many men, hoes are considered damaged goods. Their virtue is often called into question and, unless she’s Kim Kardashian, most men will not consider her marriage material. Therefore, competition is scarce. She may cheat and have her dalliances, but for the most part, the chances of losing her are slim. After all, she’s found a man to marry her despite her whorish ways. She’s not going ANYWHERE.
5) Skills. This could be a false assumption, but it is often held that hoes probably know how to put it down in the boudoir. Practice DOES make perfect, right? If she’s had her fair share of partners, she probably knows what it takes to make your toes curl. Satisfaction is probably guaranteed.
6) Little effort. If you’re one of those lazy dudes whose idea of courting involves Burger King and Redbox, a ho may be just what you need. Hoes usually have low standards, and depending upon what type of ho she is (e.g. a regular ho, a materialistic ho, groupie ho or professional ho), as long as she’s getting what she needs (i.e. sex, clothes, status, or money respectively), will not require much from you emotionally or even physically.
As you can see, turning a ho into a housewife has its perks; choose responsibly.
Up 4 Discussion…
1) Are there any other benefits to wifing hoes I may have missed?
2) Has anyone wifed a ho, or does anyone know someone who has? If so, was it a good decision or a bad one?
Miriam is the founder and creator of 30thoughts.com, a contemporary blog focusing on relationships, career, fashion and entertainment, from a 30-something’s point of view. She is a law student currently residing in southern California – moonlighting as a writer and serving the legal community by day.
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I might be too busy laughing at this HILARIOUS post to even offer a comment. I honestly don't know if you are being serious or finding humor in the act. It's just…much of what people are thinking but for whatever reasons never open their mouth and express.
Um, I once had a bad experience trying to turn a ho into a housewife. I tried for 9 years. But I'm not sure if I'm completely over it to discuss at the moment. Lol. In fairness, she probably felt like I was the ho.
Entertaining read.
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Yo! Don how you crack the door open like that and just leave us hanging. 9 years sounds like a serious commitment bruh. I can't even begin to imagine the things you experienced.
I was actually serious, but the thoughts came out in a comical way. This is how I view hoes, but I wanted to reintroduce your concept of hoes we discussed on Twitter the other day. All men are not in agreement on what makes a person a ho.
As I stated in the article, I think there are different types of hoes, but they are still hoes nonetheless. NINE YEARS!! Wowzers!!! I''' make an educated guess that you stayed so long b/c of number 5. You don't have to confirm or deny…I know! lol
My recent post Are Men Less Concerned About STDs?
That was an awesome article. I agree with you 100%. Especially the part about loyalty. You save 'em, and the Stockholm Syndrome" kicks in immediately. after all, that's what being a ho is all about…finding the one who'll save them.
Ed "Mr. Chap" Chapman http://www.insaneasylumblog.com
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"that's what being a ho is all about…finding the one who'll save them."
That's what it's all about?! I had no idea. The existence of a ho is all about finding a savoir. That's a very interesting dynamic.
I agree that loyalty is key. That's a must in any long-term relationship.
I didn't know that's what being a ho was about either. Please explain. I thought being a ho was involuntary lol
My recent post Are Men Less Concerned About STDs?
Lmao off this just hit me email inbox, and I saw don talking about it on twitter. I think this is right on the money. LOL…
Yes I said that and I'm a female. I've seen guys I know wife a ho and get mad when they heard stuff about them. I laugh but hey you love her…. than that's what's up!! LOL
This post was definitely an eye opener.
I don't know why those men are mad. They knew what the deal was from the jump, you know?
Miriam! This is what I'm talking about luv! Great debut post. I know this is only the beginning and I can't wait to see what else you have in store.
This article was on point. Funny and accurate at the same time. Great job!
Thanks! I'm looking forward to sharing more of these thoughts in my head
My recent post Are Men Less Concerned About STDs?
I look forward. I can't wait to find out what else you have swimming around up there. Thanks again for your support.
Reading this had me nodding my head and laughing in agreement. I didn’t marry I ho, but one of boys is engaged to one. Most of these are pretty spot on.
DarrkGable recently posted..Can You Really Handle The Truth?
DarrkGable recently posted..Can You Really Handle The Truth?
Does he know he's engaged to a ho or is it hush hush? lol
Yall better forward this article to him and let him connect the dots. Glad we are in agreement on these.
My recent post Are Men Less Concerned About STDs?
I was nodding my head and laughing while reading this. I didn't marry a ho, but most of these are pretty spot on…so I've heard.
You know what the funny thing is, a lot of men married unknown previous hos. Some people will never know the full backgrounds of either mate. Ask your women how many men have they been with in the past, and tell her to be honest, you might be surprised. Women do the same with your men!
LOL! You trying to get sumthin started but you make a great point. There are many people with checkered pasts.
This is SO true!! I'm sure a lot of men, unbeknownst to them, are married to hoes right now!
My recent post Are Men Less Concerned About STDs?
The question is do they know it, acknowledge or care? What do you think?
I think the ones that get involved with hoes know they're hoes, but don't care.
My recent post Why Men Should Hit on Women at Church
Congrats on your first post here Miriam (finally I can call you that somewhere in the blogosphere). It was really funny but I like 1-3 and 5.
My recent post Let’s Talk Debates & Upgrades
Thanks St. Petersburgh…I won't use your government name lol.
My recent post Be With the One You Love…
I love this post, people may deny it but to the guys who manage to turn that bad girl good they have a partner for life. Just keep in mind that it's not for the weak at heart and the "heaux" has to be ready for conversion. Much damage can be done when you choose the wrong one to flip… she may end up on Basketball Wives. Great post!
My recent post I Dumped Her For Owning A Mercedes Benz
LOL @ the Basketball Wives truth.
I appreciate you adding that warning Greg. Making an honest woman out of the wrong woman can be a tragic mistake. Thank you for sharing your insight.