1) Loyalty. Usually, when “saved,” hoes develop an undying loyalty to their captains. They are so grateful to have been chosen by someone, anyone, that they will pledge allegiance to you til death do you part.
2) Uninhibited sex. Hoes are less concerned with being prim and proper, and don’t mind getting their hands dirty (pun intended). Furthermore, they tend to be more comfortable with their bodies, even if they are riddled with stretch marks and bullet wounds. If their standards are “loose” when it comes to their sexual partners, then their standards as to what they will do and how far they will go to please their man will likely be relaxed, as well.
3) You’ll never go without. I think it’s safe to say that hoes like sex. If they didn’t, they wouldn’t be getting it in with every Tom, Dick and Harry. At least you can take comfort in knowing that, while your friends are complaining about how stingy their wives have been with the nookie since they got hitched, you’ll be getting all you can stand.
4) No one else wants her. To many men, hoes are considered damaged goods. Their virtue is often called into question and, unless she’s Kim Kardashian, most men will not consider her marriage material. Therefore, competition is scarce. She may cheat and have her dalliances, but for the most part, the chances of losing her are slim. After all, she’s found a man to marry her despite her whorish ways. She’s not going ANYWHERE.
5) Skills. This could be a false assumption, but it is often held that hoes probably know how to put it down in the boudoir. Practice DOES make perfect, right? If she’s had her fair share of partners, she probably knows what it takes to make your toes curl. Satisfaction is probably guaranteed.
6) Little effort. If you’re one of those lazy dudes whose idea of courting involves Burger King and Redbox, a ho may be just what you need. Hoes usually have low standards, and depending upon what type of ho she is (e.g. a regular ho, a materialistic ho, groupie ho or professional ho), as long as she’s getting what she needs (i.e. sex, clothes, status, or money respectively), will not require much from you emotionally or even physically.
As you can see, turning a ho into a housewife has its perks; choose responsibly.
Up 4 Discussion…
1) Are there any other benefits to wifing hoes I may have missed?
2) Has anyone wifed a ho, or does anyone know someone who has? If so, was it a good decision or a bad one?