The relationships we build in life are essential to the life we lead. It builds who we are, how we act and how we interact with the rest of the world. But when does a relationship built with one person start to be detrimental to other relationships? Then, to take it a step further, when do certain relationships start to just cross the realm of weird, unusual and in some respects… unacceptable!?
So What Does STYLEZ Think?
A good, female friend of mine recently commented on her FB status:
“Some guys should just date their homeboys cause they spend enough time with them. #bromance Seriously! Dudes need to stop leading women on … when they are already in a serious, committed relationship with [their] homeboy”
It’s a strong statement on the state of male relationships as we know it. A lot of the women who commented on her status, further confirmed that bromances are getting in the way of meaningful, committed relationships. When I say “committed”, I am eliminating the fact that some bromances are strong for the reason of sabotaging other relationships. And that’s fine… well, not fine for the women involved on the other end, but hey, it’s the method some guys choose in order to keep women at a distance. And whatever works for allowing you to stay uncommitted, I can’t have a gripe about that.
But on the other hand, there are men who claim they want a committed relationship, however they can’t seem to let go of the “other man” in their lives! It’s sad but true. I found an article from the Newlywed Blog, and they noted 5 signs that a man is part of a bromance! They were spot on as they described the traits and actions of a bromance:
1) So many inside jokes, it sounds like they speak a different language
2) They have that story about that “one time…” that gets told over and over!
3) They have to run life changing decisions by each other, just to make sure it’s a good idea… like buying a house, starting a family, changing careers, etc.
4) Spending more time making plans for the man date than on dates with his significant other!
5) Trying to include each other in every activity planned with the significant other, such as dinner dates, concerts, vacations, etc.
Not to say, you can’t include your bro in certain aspects of your life, but sometimes, too much is just too much! Men in committed relationships need breaks too, but when you never take a break from your bro, that is just too much! I am a firm believer in finding balance. Too much of anything, good or bad, is a bad thing! And I think that is what women are feeling. It’s not that they are jealous, specifically, but men should understand that even a bromance will suck the life out of a committed relationship. Sharing your love with another person is never easy, and I think that is how most people feel when they are involved in a relationship with a guy that is also in a bromance. They are actively competing with your bro for your time, affection and even Love! The bromance may seem like a regular friendship to you, but if you are doing one or more of the 5 signs, best believe, you’re significant other is feeling like your bromance is too much!
So what should you do? Well, the answer to that is purely subjective. My best advice is kind of an accompaniment to the advice given by the Newlywed Blog. Sit down, talk with your significant other, get their take on your bromance. Try to understand how they feel about the situations you put them in. Try to understand that you can still be loyal to your bro, but make your significant other feel more secure in your relationship with them. No one wants a Klingy Kathy in their lives, but if you’re not even giving your significant other 40% of the time you spend with your bro… maybe it’s time to start re-evaluating both relationships!
That is what STYLEZ thinks!
Up 4 Discussion…
1) What do you think?
2) What suggestions do you have for those in a bromance!?