July 30th, 2012 
Up4Dsn 
Hey Family! It has been over 6 months since the last time I wrote a post. I am proud to say that drought has come to an end. I was recently extended an opportunity to write a guest post for MissAleck.com and I happily accepted. The topic I was asked to write about was Men & Celibacy. I hope that you all enjoy the post and will show me some luv by leaving comments sharing your thoughts on both the topic and my return to writing. Thank you in advance.
*J
Men & Celibacy. Those are two words that are rarely used together. If you let media, women and the world tell it, men are all but incapable of abstaining from sex. They need it, want it and would neva, eva eva eva turn it down. So if that’s the nature of a man, how are things supposed to differ if the man is saved, a Christian or is planted firmly in his religious or spiritual beliefs? That man is held at a higher standard, right? That man is above and beyond the temptations and desires of his flesh, right? WRONG!
Who are we talking about here? Iron man? Batman? Nah, we can’t be. Plus, I’m pretty sure both of those dudes have had their fair share of coo, even if it was in some imaginative comic book world. The truth is I don’t know too many men, saved or not, who have successfully committed to celibacy…myself included. So before we start rebuking men for their inability to commit to a celibate lifestyle, allow me to share with you a glimpse of the struggle men must endure on a DAILY basis.
Read the full post by clicking here
Up 4 Discussion…
1) Do you believe that it is a struggle for men to remain celibate?
2) What did you think of J’s return to writing?
J is the founder of Up 4 Discussion and desires to promote positivity, peace, laughter and love throughout the world…one person at a time…starting with YOU!
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*claps franticly* Welcome back Boss!! And it was a great read!! Pat yourself on the back.
I think it is not only a struggle for men, but for women as well. The statement you made, "A wise man once told me that the hardest habit to break was the one you know you shouldn’t have started in the first place"… hit the nail on the head! It seems that everyone is given weaknesses and if we didn't have them, I'm sure the world wouldn't spend side ways so perfectly. Most have sex for enjoyment and there are actually some that don't enjoy sex at all (o_O) but it definitely fires up flames that put us all in vulnerable positions.
My recent post Interview With The Mistress: Whose Winning?
LOL! Hey Candi! How you been luv?
You are right, it is a struggle for both of us. I just think too many people feel like men should have more control over this matter. I will admit that women seem to have a better ability to remain celibate than men seem to have, but it doesn't mean that men aren't trying. You know?
Wow! Not enjoying sex. That's truly unfortunate. I understand what you mean. That is one fire that is extremely difficult to extinguish without the right amount of self control, discipline, strength and faith.
Maybe there is something in the water between here and where you are J. I wish I did know a man, any man that had any type of control over "the matter". And of course we have all heard of more women having a better ability to remain celibate. No man I have ever known was willing to turn down the "P" unless they heard/smelled some foulness (LOL) Sorry I was raised around a bunch of dudes.
I believe I would be intrigued if I met a celibate man. But I'm not for sure if it would be the right or wrong reasons. One part of me would want to see how far I could actually go in a relationship with no sex and the other part of me would want to see how far I could push him. smh, I'm horrible!!
My recent post Sleeping With The Enemy
You are SO BAD!!!! LOL!
Lol! I know. *walks away with head hanging low*
I do believe that having the willpower to abstain is just as equally fulfilling as the act itself. I believe that it would help channel thoughts towards directions that would probably have been missed due to temptation. You become more level and more balanced. Self control. Self discipline. There is a word I'm looking for, but I can't seem to find it and google is not my friend today. But I'm sure you get my point. Either way, I kind of wish that I had the motivation and the right mindset to do the celibate thing. Then again, the way things are looking, it might just be force rather than my choice, lol!
My recent post Interview With The Mistress: Whose Winning?
"I do believe that having the willpower to abstain is just as equally fulfilling as the act itself."
I honestly never looked at it that way. I always viewed it has a difficulty instead of trying to find the good in the challenge. Thank you for opening my eyes to that.
I doubt you'll be forced into celibacy. LOL! Trying it out could be interesting for you…at the least.
I don't know J, I'm struggling LOL!! I'm hoping that after a while, these urges will subside and I'll forget all about the ….. what's that thing called again?!! LMAO!!!
I have to find the fun out of every challenge or a way to gain some type of success from it. If not, then your roads only become longer and harder to travel. And then we start having withdrawals LOL!! Sex is truly addictive. We could wrap smoking, drinking and all that addictive stuff right in the same blanket. We commend those for overcoming their drug habits but how often do we commend people for remaining celibate? First thing we're yelling is, "WTH wrong with you?!" LOL!! And there is really nothing wrong. It's a mind thing.
My recent post Sleeping With The Enemy
That's a great point. Celibacy is not something that's celebrated. Like you stated, people are left in shock wondering why someone would want to remain celibate. That's wild when you sit back and think about it.
It is crazy! Honestly I think about trying to abstain just as much as having sex. I feel like if I can overcome that urge to bust one and light my cigar after, then I have conquered the world!! Lol!!
Im still a work in progress.
Nothing wrong with being a work in progress. Keep at it!
1)Yeah, I know it’s a constant struggle for men to remain celibate. We live in a temptation-filled society. Knowing that temptation is everywhere and that there are very few things, if any, that could compete with the feelings that sex brings is probably a big reason for the struggle. It’s kinda like an all or nothing commitment.
2)I’m glad you decided to return. I’m pretty new to the up4discussion fam, so I have to take some time to catch up on the past posts, but it’s nice to be able to get an author’s point of view on a question especially when a podcast isn’t attached. I'm enjoying it so far.
That's true Nick. It's far from easy. That's one of the reasons why it's a must to have a strong faith and root in God. I feel like without knowing He is there it is impossible to climb out of the pit of temptation.
Thank you so much for your continued support Nick. It means far more than you know. I'm glad you've been enjoying the content and I always enjoy reading your comments and thoughts on the topics we discuss.
I also plan to do some more writing. The podcast isn't going anywhere, but I'm hoping to get back into the writing flow as well.
Great post. It was very honest, realistic and a sobering view. Many believers begin with such unrealistic expectations and when they are tempted, as we all will be, they are guilt-ridden. If God expected perfection, HE would not have DIED for our SINS. We must strive to be pleasing to GOD and ask HIS help when we are weak, but realize that salvation is a process and processes require time and patience. I am very glad you are returning to writing, because this may be another direction God wants to lead you. Keep striving for truth, cause it never changes.
Thank you so much for the kind words. You're right, I need to lean more on God and not my own 'false' strength. Thanks so much for your insight.
Very good piece! Some people think that just because a man give his life to Christ He should lose his sexual desires. Never. A man will never lose his sexual desires. However, with God’s help, the man can be able to have self-restraint. Glad to see you back writing. Writing is an exercise in self-liberation, self-discovery, and self-improvement. Keep it up!
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Thank you Antonio. What you said is so true. This isn't a journey we were meant to take alone, even though many of us try to go at it alone. I thank you and many others for reminding me that the focus shouldn't be on myself, but on God.
It feels good to be writing again. I plan to continue the trend. Thanks so much for your continued support man.