Live in the present, not in the past. Especially at family functions, holidays are a time to get together and enjoy one another’s company not a time to nitpick at one another’s shortcomings or differences. There are so many family functions that people will not come to because they want to avoid gossip, drama, grudges, and other madness. After a holiday fiasco it seems like everyone could use a nice therapy session. Do not use the family function as the session. Enjoy your precious time together. The holidays are a trying time for many and you never know what the next person is going through. Family does not know everything about family.
Many times at family gatherings generations of family are clumped together at the table. Leave all negativity outside when stepping onto the porch. Our babies are watching us and will believe this is the way they should conduct themselves. We should use this time to teach how family loves and embraces one another despite unresolved issues and differences. Family needs to be more loyal to one another. Never allow outsiders to infiltrate your squad. If you are not willing to hash it out at another time then keep it to yourself as you have been doing. Family functions are not an opportune moment to verbally or in some cases physically attack someone. United we stand, divided we fall. It hurts my heart to hear of family gossiping about one another. Enough of that nonsense, we have to have on our armor outside we do not need to shield ourselves at home too. Home is allegedly where the heart is.
So why do so many of us dread family functions? Why do so many not show up at all? What goes on in this house stays in this house, but what if it is ruining someone close to you? Let’s face it, we have to have our guard up among the world but there needs to be a time when we can let it down. But if family tears you apart as well then your defenses are constantly up at attention. So we need to devise a game plan to tackle family related issues. Here are a few dos and don’ts:
Do attend family functions. Just like there are those who will criticize and attack there are those who look forward to seeing your smiling face and hearing how things are going with you. Do not allow any words of negation deter you from attending family functions. Hold your head up high and be cordial. A little bit of kindness goes a long way.
Don’t reminisce on negative past events. I don’t know why, but some people use family functions as a springboard for past indiscretions. They use this time to point out your less than stellar moments. When someone does this please kindly walk away. The past is the past and you need to stay in the moment. If they cannot do that then the conversation is null and void.
No personal attacks. Whatever pent up issues or grudges you have need to be hashed out at another time with you and that particular person at a later date. Do not bring up negative issues over the family dinner table. It is uncouth and tacky. Again the youth are watching and will see this and not be able to discern this is bad behavior. They will think it is fitting in a family setting.
Be positive. It may be awhile since you have seen certain family members so look forward to meeting up with family. Enjoy your family and flowers now.
Did I leave out anything? Let me know below. What have your experiences been at family functions? Did it encourage or deter you from going to anymore? Share your thoughts below.
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