Erica-Rose slid her arm from around Kim’s neck gently, so she wouldn’t wake her. Slipping into her pajama pants and back into her bra, Erica made her way towards the balcony. It was a cool and breezy night outside. The wind felt great on her warm skin.
The neighborhood was perfectly quiet. Erica loved that. She only wished it was a neighborhood of two story houses, filled with families and their pets. The life she always dreamed she would have.
Instead the condos surrounding hers were filled with single men and women, like herself, aging rapidly and alone. Some of her neighbors didn’t even want a family of their own. They only wanted to watch their money grow and buy fancy things. Erica wondered if she had become anything like them. Spending her money on nice things did make her feel accomplished. It would never fill the void she felt though.
Erica’s thoughts were interrupted by thoughts of Karen. Erica felt terrible for thinking about Karen while she was in bed with Kim. It was unfair, but she couldn’t stop thinking of Karen in another woman’s arms.
Erica sighed and as she turned to walk back inside, she bumped into Kimberly walking out. Kim looked adorable in the pajama top she wore. It was the matching piece to the bottom Erica was wearing. She loved seeing Kim in her clothes.
“Baby,” Kim started. “What are you doing out here, isn’t it chilly?”
“You’re always cold,” Erica responded with a chuckle. “I was just coming in though.”
They wrapped their arms around each other and looked up at the stars. Kimberly could tell something was bothering Erica. She was afraid to ask what it was. Erica was always so private with her. Whenever she got too close of tried to get in her head, Erica shut her out.
“What’s on your mind baby,” Kim asked against her better judgment.
“Oh nothing beautiful,” Erica lied. She felt bad never letting Kim in. She just wasn’t ready to give her heart away again. She cared for Kim but a part of her was not ready to trust her heart in someone else’s hands again. Then..there was…Karen.
Their heads both shot up towards the sky just in time to catch the shooting star.
“Erica, quickly make a wish,” Kim said in a whisper.
They both closed their eyes, still holding each other in a soft embrace.
Just once, I wish she would say it back to me. Just once, I wish Erica would say I love you too, Kim wished.
I wish I didn’t still love her. I wish Karen didn’t still mean the world to me, Erica wished.
They opened their eyes and looked at each other as if trying to read each other’s minds.
“Erica, you make me so happy,” Kim said while softly tugging Erica’s hair.
Erica averted her eyes but responded, “Do I? Well thank goodness. Now my purpose on earth has been served.” They both laughed out loud.
Comedy was Erica’s first reaction to getting out of sharing her emotions. She was always speechless though whenever Kim said….
Kim interrupted Erica’s thoughts and said, “I love you baby.”
There was an awkward pause that they both knew all too well.
Erica leaned in and placed the sweetest kiss on Kim’s lips and said, “Thank-you.”
Those two words cut Kim so deep every time Erica said them. She played her part though and returned the kiss, much deeper. Kim put all her passion in every kiss she gave Erica and they both always felt it.
“Let’s get some rest baby,” Erica suggested. “You still need to go home in the morning to change for work.”
Holding hands, they walked back to the bed and got under the covers.
Kim always slept in Erica’s arms and tonight as she leaned her body into Erica’s she thought, So much for my wish. I don’t deserve this. I just want her to let me in. She would be so happy with me.
Erica squeezed Kim tightly as she leaned into her. She doesn’t deserve this, Erica thought. I can’t continue to hurt her like this, but..Karen….I love her so much. I need to know the truth…then, maybe I’ll let go.
Erica kissed Kim’s cheek from behind her and they both shared a long, deep sigh. Just before drifting off, they both shared a final thought, I…just…want…her to love me.
Don’t Forget to Come Back Next Tuesday for Chapter 7
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