August 4th, 2012 
Up4Dsn 
She walked into the bathroom and closed the door as easily as she could.
Without turning on the lights she dragged herself to the tub.
The water seemed to sprint out of the shower head roaring so loud it deafened her.
She went to stand in front of the mirror, her head down in shame.
Afraid to turn on the lights, afraid to see what the mirror would reveal.
Reserved tears stung her eyes and dried blood encased her face.
Her body ached from the pads of her feet to the tips of her hair.
And with fear in her heart, she reached for the light switch and forced herself to turn on the lights.
At first glance the little strength she had left gave out and her tears poured from her eyes.
Her brown skin had lost its color and gained so many others.
Her chest rose and fell rapidly as she examined herself.
Black and blue never suited me she said to herself trying to calm her nerves.
But for once her humor seemed to fail her.
Questions flooded her mind.
“What will I wear to work tomorrow? How will I wear my hair? What did I do?”
Nothing made sense to her.
Cuts and bruises tainted her once flawless skin.
Blood stains on her t-shirt seemed to burn her and she shed herself of the clothes that trapped her.
She wanted to run, but to where?
For he was out there, waiting. Apologizing for his behavior. His breakdown that caused him to beat her.
Tired of looking at her beaten and bruised body she cut the lights off.
And with the darkness came the pain. Again.
She could feel it, see it, smell it. The fight that came out of nowhere.
Her silent tears became loud sobs. Drowning out his, I’m sorry’s and forgive me’s.
She sank into the tub wincing at the sting of the hot water against her destroyed body.
Tuning out his pleas.
When will he stop?
The water seemed to soothe her fears and ignited her anger.
SHUT UP! She yelled at him from the tub.
Immediately regretting it. Scared, but it worked.
He stopped. And she cried.
She cried about her bad decisions, her aching, her trials and tribulations.
Everything that had once plagued her.
She sat in the tub until the water went from steaming to cold.
She returned to the mirror and once again cut on the lights.
Disappointed that the water washed away only her blood and not the bruises.
She cried, and cried until her head began to ache.
Until the cool wetness from the pillow forced her to open her eyes.
“Not again,” she whispered. “Will these nightmares ever end?”
My reflection, my nightmare, my punishment.
Ladies, don’t ever allow someone to make you feel less than what you are worth. Nothing you do is worth any man putting his hands on you. Don’t justify it, don’t make excuses, and please don’t stay.
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Such a beautifully written post.
My recent post Thinkin Bout You
Thank you so much for reading it. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Thanks love.
Courtney that was a very touching and powerful post about abuse. I wish we could really reach those women and cause them to realize that they deserve better. They were not created by GOD good and very good, for someone broken and in need of GOD himself before joining with anyone in a relationship, to have their minds, bodies and souls stolen, killed and often destroyed. I pray women in abusive relationships would wake up and get out, get a way and protect their children from the cycle of madness. I also pray that their abuser will recognize that they too need help and healing from their brokenness. Thank you for writing such a moving post. I appreciate the Up4Discussion family and the many talented writers sharing their wisdom. Keep striving for Truth, because it never changes.
Thank you for reading and for the insightful comment and kind words. We appreciate your continued support!
Thank you so much for your comments. I really wish I could reach the masses, women and men alike. So many people are scared of leaving and I really want to let them know it's okay to leave. And it's safe to leave. I wish I could give them that. A safe haven, where they can get back to being who they have been called to be. Where their children are safe and their strength is regained. People who've been abused don't realize just how strong they are, they just have to willing to take that power back.
This post brought me to tears. While I've never been a victim of physical abuse, I've been on the receiving end of emotional, mental, and sexual abuse, so I could definitely identify with this post. Thanks for this real and honest post. I've worked hard to be a better and stronger woman over the years and have become extremely vocal about women not allowing themselves to be abused in ANY way.
Wow! I can't imagine the things swimming through your mind while you were reading this Blu. I truly appreciate you taking the time out to read this piece and share a part of your own experience.
I applaud you, and I admire you because so many don't leave, and they don't tell. They just sweep it under the rug and choose to let it ruin them. So for you to tell your story and be an advocate and let people know is very, very admirable and I appreciate you and please keep on being vocal. Because even when it seems like we've reached no one, we've reached someone.
Wow, this post hit home. I've known so many who have been victims of this type of abuse.
Well written!
You're not alone Sunny. There are too many women, and even men, who live this reality on a daily basis. They need a voice…and a way out.
I want to establish a non-profit, I want to help be that way out because no one believes that there is a true way out.