Okay not really, but I did ask a boy out on a date for the first time in my life. And it felt dirty, kinda like a hooker soliciting her first trick (hence the title). Because I have never been so bold as to ask a guy out. Because that’s not how it’s supposed to work. Because I’m a girl!
I mean honestly aren’t the hints, the suggestive comments enough? Well, before we launch in, let me give you some background.
I met Henry* at the It’s Complicated event in D.C. held by Paul C. Brunson, the Modern Day Matchmaker. Using words from the promotional flyer, it was a Letterman-esq show/book release tour/mixer. The event was a great time, with good people, and the potential for “networking” at the end. Fueled by 3 drinks and an empty stomach, I approached Henry during the mixer more by accident than on purpose.
Ushered together by the bouncer and the density of people, we started to chat. 10 into 20 the minutes rolled by and the conversation flowed. He asked for my number and text me that same night to give me his. A few sporadic texts later, we reached a crossroad. Paul said it’s a numbers game, you have to play to well, play. He said it was okay for a woman to make the first move. So after great hesitation and a few requests for advice, I text him.
Hey Henry! Did I ever tell you I grew up on a boat? Don’t know if you ever read Moby Dick but us nautical people are pretty persistent. That being said, you wanna catch a Nats game sometime?— Just call me Ishmael
The text flowed in the same manner as our previous exchanges, quirky, cute, definitely me. But after hitting send I instantly regretted the missive. Why? Well, I felt like I disturbed the natural order of things; that I reversed the roles. His primal urge to be the hunter, the man who pursues what he wants despite obstacles and naysayers, was misplaced in an impulsive moment of aggression.
Case in point, my best guy friend Beloved Bachelor and his new ladylove, Ms. Nearby. He calls her everyday; bought tickets to Cirque du Soleil for a potential date before even knowing her schedule, and reminds her often of his interest. His intentions are clear, and because of that clarity her mutual ardor is freely displayed. And what woman doesn’t want that? To know where she stands with a possaboo?
From the moment I hit send, I was on pins and needles wondering if he was even going to reply. Obviously patience is not my strong suit. Hours later when he apologized for not responding sooner, when he agreed to seeing a Nats game, I sighed with relief. I also couldn’t help asking, what now?
Like any great dish you can follow the recipe to the letter or you can add your own flare to boost the flavor. The end result is still the same—something edible and presentable. In the case of dating, sometimes being nontraditional can work in your favor. Or not, I mean now that I think about it, we didn’t really set a date for the Nats game… At any rate, who’s to say you shouldn’t take chances?
If dating really is a numbers game, a lottery so to speak, then you have to keep playing to win big. And when you do win big, you never really think of all the time, worry, and money wasted on playing year after year. All you really focus on is the end result, and the pile of money at your disposal. I may not have won big this time, but I did win enough to keep playing.
Up 4 Discussion…
Readers: Women: Have you ever asked a man out on a date? How did you feel? Did it end up working out? Do you recommend being the aggressor? Men: How do you feel when a woman asks you out on a date? Are you really interested in dating her afterward? Do you feel some type of way about the role reversal? For those still playing the dating game, I tip my hat to you as I tap the mic…
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