August 3rd, 2012 
Up4Dsn 
Are you allergic to monogamy? I am about to confess something I have never revealed aloud. I am allergic to monogamy. I do not know how to be faithful. It is not in my genetic makeup. Boyfriend #2 is always patiently waiting on me. I can never fully commit to anyone. I am true to no one but I am trying to be true to my star player, ME! Believe it or not, this is hard for me to reveal. As I write this I keep hesitating to write more. I am not the good girl people think I am. They put me on this pedestal but my flaws knock me right on off. I detest the question, ‘Why are you single?’ and don’t dare ask me, ‘Why aren’t you married yet?’ I cannot be faithful, and the more I think about it the less I want it to be true. I have no real desire to be committed to any one man. I have loved before, been true and got burnt badly. I refuse to put all of my eggs in one basket. I was on the brink of a breakdown and I never want to be hurt like that again. I never want to give my all to any man, unless that man is God, for I know an Earthly man will fail me.
I do not have enough faith in any man. I feel like I should stop writing before this is too candid for most ears. And I know the word ‘ho’ is floating around somewhere up in here. So call me names if you must, but this is a hard fact I have to face. Monogamy makes me itch. I never want to commit or tell a man I will commit, for I know cheating is second nature to me. I am never detected or suspected of it. The way my blurry eyes see it, any man I deal with is unfaithful so there is no point in me wasting my time on being true. I am not tacky or crass, so I will do my dirt elsewhere, for getting caught is too dangerous. I am currently single, no real surprise there, and I am trying to try on monogamy but it itches too much. I am definitely allergic; somebody get me a damn EpiPen because this shit is going to kill me.
Going on this dating hiatus has me doing some serious introspection. I am being honest about every damn thing. A woman admitting she is a cheater might as well tie a noose around her neck and kick the shit out of the chair under her. It is marriage suicide. I know some wise ass wants to say “You can’t turn a hoe, into a housewife.” The jury is still out on that one. Anyway moving on…How do I combat this illness? I was raised very strict and was terrified of sex with one man let alone with two. When did my inhibitions dissipate? Why can’t I be a damn good girl like everyone thinks I am? I cannot tell you how many times I have been baffled by men who are so smitten by me. I am like, I just want to get my groove on and bounce, stop trying to get serious. When commitment is brought up I break into hives. I know who I am and I need serious help. This shit is a serious struggle. I always have a boyfriend #2 because boyfriend #1 is not enough for me and he can never satiate all my needs. He could try but it wouldn’t work. It’s a low down dirty shame. Sad part of it is if I were a man admitting this it would be cool. But I am a woman and all I can do is shake my head in disgust.
I am saying this unabashed. I am not faithful. Finally, and hell no you can’t cure me, trust I have tried. It drives me nuts. The one time I was faithful it drove me nuts. I only lasted three months. I got rid of him pronto. He was crazy anyway. I digress. Monogamy makes me itch. The mere thought reddens my face and my throat begins to close. I am not being dramatic I am dead serious. Monogamy makes me itch.
Up 4 Discussion…
1) Are you a woman that is allergic to monogamy?
2) How can women, and men, battle against the struggle to stay monogamous?
3) How would you respond if this post was written by a man?
Share your thoughts below.
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Thank you so much for your continued support Family!
Sweet Nectar is a sweet and sassy writer with a lot of spice. She has been writing since age five. She got her blogging start in August 2009. Since her inception into the blogging world she has been a relationship columnist for both The City Trenton N.E.W.S. and for The Trentonian newspaper under the Blog Life section titled Loverzquarrel.
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No, I'm not allergic to monogamy…in fact I prefer it. For me it makes life simpler. I don't know if I think men and women should battle against monogamy. Sweet Nectar is keeping it real with herself…kudos to her! Why should she go against it? For what? That's only going to cause her mental anguish. As long as folks are honest about their intentions etc…like Black Sheep, the choice is yours.
That's a good point. Stat true to self regardless of what other people think. If we love ourselves that is what matters the most. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts!
Being honest with yourself is what matters. You don't have to be in a relationship if you don't want to. There's nothing wrong with wanting to play the field. You're not a ho, you're a woman who doesn't believe a monogamous relationship works for her. If this post was written by a man I would say the same thing. If you're dating someone and feeling like this, its best to share these feelings with them. No point in wasting your time or theirs. Monogamy is not easy, and is not for everyone.
That's some very sound insight. Thank you so much for sharing it man. I also appreciate you swinging by the site. Thank you for continued support!
I was like this a while back. I couldn't stand the thought of being "shackled" to someone. I assume that when the right person come along, the itching will subside. At least that is what happened to me. Which I found out that I should have left that cream right at the store.
I think my irritation is coming back too sweet nectar. My only mistake was burning bridges with my side pieces for the person I mistaked for being the ONE.
I liked this post. So real and straight to the core.
I'm curious, how easy or difficult was it for you to transition from not wanting to be shackled to wanting to be with 'The One'?
Honestly, it was a very quick process which makes me look back on it thinking, "damn, we really moved fast." It was instant, more like a love at first site type of ordeal. He was something I wasn't use to, his demeanor was something I had never experienced. He was different. He had so much respect for me and consideration of my surroundings. We wanted the same things and were at the same place in our lives looking for the same things and outcome; or so I thought. It was unreal.
BUT… people change!! I wish that I could uplift Sweet Nectar into believing that she'll most definitely know when her Knight has arrived, but I swear, even after so many years of being with one person, living with one person, etc… you could still be sleeping with a stranger.
I believe in love, but I lost faith in the consistency of it. It just doesn't last.
I appreciate you answering my question. Thank you Candi.
I like the brute honesty in this post and nothing else. The writer was true to herself at THIS time of her life. Like Sensesocommon she may eventually change or she might not.
No doubt. The honesty was mad real. Thanks so much for reading this post and sharing your thoughts Petersburgh.
I respect your honesty and would not dare judge you nor suggest that you change, if you are truly comfortable with yourself and your decision. However, I prefer a monogamous relationship because I give my best in a relationship and I want that in return. I believe that what you give out will come back to you, and I do not want anything negative nor harmful filling my life with undue drama. As long as your partners are aware of your philosophy and both of you agree on these terms, continue to do YOU!!! Keep striving for truth cause it never changes.
Agree that a person's partner or partners should be made aware of their feelings toward them and the relationship. That was a great point you made Destiny. Thanks!
Real, raw and uncut!!! No judgement here!!
At least your able to be honest with yourself, most people aren't. Respect!
True dat! Some people can't even be this honest with themselves…let alone the world.