If Disney taught us girls well— all it takes is a pretty face and a woe-is-me story for endearing damsels to ensnare their Prince Charming. From first glance to first kiss, we charm him with our demure wit and perceived courage swathed in a nurturing kindness to win his heart. Our budding love changes this fare-thee-well knight to shine his rusty armor and save our day— often meaning marriage. Lo and behold the idea of Boy meets Girl, Boy rescues Girl, and Girl’s love rescues Boy right back: the fairytale happily ever after.
Fast forward to modern day where you’re want to find any of these storybook romances. I’ll wait while you think of the one anomaly; your best-friend’s sister’s cousin’s babysitter who met the man of her dreams. Bet if you tuned into their “Where Are They Now” special you’d quickly see the marble plaster of their love everlasting chipped from wear.
I’m not here to say that love doesn’t exist or that marriages can’t be happy. What I will do is point out 5 reasons why the whole fable of a lifetime of love and happiness has become so convoluted.
1. People have standards…
How many women do you know that have a list a mile long to which they strictly adhere— refusing to consider anyone outside of their ideal? I’m not talking nonstarters. Nah son, I’m talking about women 5’1” saying they won’t date a man less than 6’2”. Or a waitress saying she won’t date a man who makes less than 6 figures. Are you serious, Boo-Boo? Is that how you define love?
2. The antithesis of standards…
This is the type of woman that accepts any story, any pickup line, any lie to prove she’s laid back, not like them other girls. She steady hooks-up with men outside of her “type”, camouflaging the bed warmer in statements like “ooh girl, he has potential”. All men have potential, but only 5% of them are worth the time. Artfully she crafts herself into the side-piece, decorating the cardboard box she happily inhabits. Fulfilling his lust she never sates his appetite. She dines on the three courses of lies her scraps together and the trinkets he reveals when she’s ready to bounce. She waits desperately for him to see how, while he scours endlessly for his trophy.
3. Awaiting the Rescue
You know the girl I’m talking about, the “when I get a man, I’m gonna…” girl. The one who believes that meeting a man will magically change her life. Hidden away, she hones her “wifey” skills, pining for the man who will notice and appreciate her. She waits, grows older… waiting. She never lives her life because she’s afraid she will miss Mr. Right.
4. What’s love got to do with it?
After 3 days the Princess is ready to say “I Love You” to anchor her Prince to her side. More often than not, “I Love You” becomes a prison with the enslaved clawing to get out. She doesn’t know why she says it, except that she’s sick of being lonely. She spews those three words to change him into the perfect man, to guarantee he will stick around. She puckers her lips waiting for his adoring kiss after she professes her love, cementing their future forever.
5. What’s happily ever after anyway?
Real talk, how many people can answer this? Women have such an interesting notion of what it means to be a wife. They think that being able to cook, keep house, take care of the kids… that’s all that’s needed to make it last. Wonder how many people go into marriage with these picture perfect ideas and wake up one day screaming “I want out”. If the statistics are right, it’s 50%. *Kanye Shrug*
What do you think makes finding love in this hopeless place *cough* the world, so hard? What are your nonstarters for a relationship? What do you believe makes a relationship/marriage work? Women, do you have a princess complex?
This post was written by JustLissen
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