Back in the day those three little words would have sparked anger in many people if they were to see them posted or even spoken. However, today they seem fitting for most mature and evolved relationships.
Everyone, especially ladies, should be looking for someone on their level that one person to complete the all elusive “Power Couple”. I say elusive because it can seem like it doesn’t exist or may only exist for the Jay-Z’s and Beyonce’s or the Will and Jada’s of the world when actually what it boils down to is maturity. You’ll know it because you get to a point where you are beyond that young immature puppy love, texting every five minute, calling every twenty minutes and being up under each other every other hour love. You move into what I call ‘Mature’ love. Now everyone is trying to make it happen so time is tight, that’s where the Separate But Equal comes in and if you are lacking mature love then your relationship is already on shaky ground. When you are in a relationship with someone who respects you, especially if you both are grinding hard and when you have someone on your level who sees your vision as theirs and vice versa that is something that is extremely powerful. It’s powerful because not only is your love driving you but both of your desires to win is what’s got you working towards the same goal. You may not see each other every single day or even talk on the phone constantly but you know the love is there and the momentum toward meeting at the finish line is driven by the love you hold for each other and the satisfaction that will come with accomplishing what you set out to do.
There is a saying: Mature love says I need you because I love you, Immature love says I need you because I love you.
If you think about that for a moment, it’s actually very clear. There is nothing more powerful than having the love of the person you love in your corner driving you toward your goal. (I need you because I love you…) The flipside of that coin is when a person can’t function without the other person on any level. (I love you because I need you…) So you have to be careful and mindful when you are entering into a situation or relationship because it’s easy to mistake the two if you aren’t on your toes.
Women are very susceptible to getting drawn in by what I consider Drive-by: “I love you’s” and “I miss you’s” texts that can and will throw anyone off track but you have to stay focused on the goal at hand and that is building your brand, your legacy. A good way to tell is to pay attention to conversations and levels of communication. If in the beginning you and him are on the same page and mapping out life and business plans and you get to a point where you’re ready to move forward and then out of nowhere he starts to slow that is a red flag. Especially if excuses start flying faster than weave at a half-price sale. Don’t let that slow YOUR momentum. And don’t get me wrong you don’t have to be in the same industry or working towards the same prize but there should never be a time when he is too busy for you or feels he has to do things to shelter you from the things he IS doing while he gets his grind on.
Essentially ladies what you should be looking for is someone who matches you stride for stride but can pick up your slack if need be and you should be prepared to do likewise if need be. When you’re a team that’s what team members do and I’m not just talking in the business sense this applies to the relationship aspect as well. The old saying: “Nothing worth having ever comes easy” is probably one of the truer statements ever spoken. Relationships alone aren’t easy but when you factor in outside stressors (business, distance, family, etc.) that’s when it’s time to pull together more than ever. I like to ask people the question, “What if Oprah would have settled for just being an anchorwoman?” And when you start talking power COUPLES the dynamics become even MORE intricate because you have to be willing to do whatever it takes to ensure that nothing stops or hinders your vision and what you two have set out to do.
Ladies if you find yourself with a man who everyday it’s a struggle just to get him to clarify where he’s coming from let alone where he’s going then it’s time to lace up your Louboutin’s and move on. That’s the one that isn’t man enough or ready for what he THOUGHT he was. Everything sounded good but ultimately he’s still a child and needs to grow up and you don’t have time to raise someone else’s kid because you got moves to make and business to handle.
The Will and Jada’s, Beyonce’s and Jay-Z’s, Boris Kodjoe’s and Nicole Ari Parkers and Denzel’s and Pauletta’s of the world didn’t get there running every time something got tough or didn’t go the way they wanted them to go. Hell for that matter I can take it one further, Barack and Michelle Obama. The support and love that is needed to foster these types of relationships don’t come along everyday and you will know when they do. Each and every one of them have something that could have destroy their relationship, have eaten away at the empires they’ve built. I’m sure Michelle got tired of Barack traveling and Beyonce got sick of Jay-Z not being around that much but they fought through it and look where they are now. So you HAVE to be careful who you link up with because it can either help you or hurt you.
If you are on a mission don’t let anyone deter you from that and if you find yourself in a situation where this mission was planned with a partner who is now trying to or has backed out you have to push forward and still do you. Don’t let their lack of vision and heart keep you from pursuing your goals and dreams. You can do whatever it is you want and have whatever you want if you stay focused. Relationships aren’t easy but they aren’t impossible either. Being linked with someone of your same mindset seems like the perfect scenario but that may not always be the case either so be careful with that as well. Just because you sing and he writes music doesn’t mean it’s a match made in heaven. Can it be? Yes but you both have to see it and you both have to want it and be willing to go after it. Period. And if you begin to realize that it’s not happening you have to know when it’s time to walk away for all reasons, personal and business.
In the end only you know how much you are willing to put up with in order to work towards being that “power couple” and truth be told some people just aren’t worth the trouble. So you readjust….you refocus and you forge ahead like they were never part of the equation no matter how hard it may be. Feelings take time to dissipate but keeping busy and doing what you need to do will take the sting out of losing who you considered a partner. Most importantly don’t lose sight of yourself and who you are or what you’re working toward.
Men come and go….legacies and brands are forever.
*See Chrissy is the reason why people like Steve Harvey, Michael Baisden stay in business.. just a long as it isn’t in my face, it’s okay? She just set us back some years.. Dang SMH
This post was written by D.L. Sparks
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