In the bible, God laid out the terms and conditions of love. He told you what it is and how it’s supposed to feel. Now if you believe in God, you should already know that if you seek Him first, He’ll give you the desires of your heart. If you’re not religious, then I’ll just say that love happens for you because you plan for it to.

Love isn’t an accident. I also don’t subscribe to the fairy tale that love will find you when you least expect it. Like anything else, love is a conscious decision. You don’t fall in love with every single attractive person that pays you attention, right? Something in them doesn’t allow you to choose them. Ever so often, God (or the universe) will place someone in your life that fits the blueprint. He or she is everything you’d want in the ways that matter. You go about the vetting process and start dating. Things become more serious and before you know it, they have an extra set of work clothes and a facial scrub at your crib. You made a choice to let them in.

Somewhere along the way though, people get scared. They shudder at the possibility that maybe this person is the missing piece of the puzzle. So they start sabotaging what ordinarily could be a great relationship. I should say we because I’ve done it before too. In order to maintain that emotional distance that makes us uncomfortable and doubtful, we start to find fault where there is none. You settle into the routine of a monogamous relationship – one that you chose to enter into – and it becomes too much. The fear you have about love will cause you to create reasons to put the brakes on, what in reality is, a normally progressing relationship. The person that once made you happy is now the bane of your existence.
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