Normally, in everyday life, you don’t fight the people that are trying to help you. If someone told you that they were, you would view them as completely crazy. I would do so myself, and I am not ashamed to say so. However, I am not going to sit here and say that I haven’t done it. I’ve done it for so long that it is now ingrained in me to do so. I have been battling Christ for a good 14 years now and a few weeks ago I finally got tired of it and He won. There, I said it.
One thing that you need to know about me is I am very proud, I hate losing, and I’m fiercely independent and determined. All those things coupled together helped me hold out as long as I could. I by no means am a heathen; I have been in or around a Church all my life. My mother, a few aunts, and some uncles are all preachers. Plus, my father is a deacon, and I still wanted to do things my own way. I felt it was my way to show everyone that I could be great on my own and I have struggled ever since I have had that thought in my head. It is not always some sort of temptation that will tempt you; sometimes it is your greatest strength that will cause you to go astray, doing things and behaving in ways that are against your character.
I can tell you that there is good news though. Lucky for me, my family had ingrained in me the love of God, the love of the experience of God, and love of reading scripture. I did it even in the midst of all my troubles, which are far from over, but I know from who my help comes. I have by no means gone from sinner to saint but I am making the transformation to be better. Everyday. Simply put I quit fighting my help, and that has made all the difference.